Second breakfast and icecream before bed

When I met with my plastic surgeon 4 weeks ago we decided to move forward with a secondary revision. We will be doing a fat harvest from my abdomen and lipofilling my chest. My tiny frame and our aggressive approach in removing every last cell of breast tissue left my skin incredibly thin. I have no breast tissue, no fat, nothing but muscle, skin, and implants. This has allowed every ripple, contour, dimple etc of my implant to be visible to the outside world. The imperfections were something I had planned to deal with, but after much internal debate, I decided I owed it to myself to keep moving forward. Fat transfer is used often in post mastecomy patients in similar situations and they end up with beautiful, natural looking results. After coming this far why not give it a try?!

At the time we agreed to this procedure, I had my little 103 pound body evaluated and was told that I only needed to gain about 5 pounds, 10 would be better but at least 5. Being the overachiever that I am I decided to make 10 my goal! I knew it wouldn't be an easy thing for me to do, and it was every bit of difficult as I imagined. With 2 breakfasts (the hobbit life) a day, more butterfingers than I can count, many bags of chips, fast food, protein bars and shakes, ice cream every night before bed and making myself completely miserable, I hit my goal just two days ago! I can feel it, I feel heavy, my clothes aren't as flattering as they once were and I feel as if I am going to bust out of my pants! I was soo excited to meet with my surgeon today and boast at how great I did! To me, I look as if I have gained quite a bit of belly fat. Sometimes the way we see ourselves isn't the same as another may see us. This turned my excitment into anxiety.

Because my implants have dropped down to a more natural position there is even more tension on my thin layer of skin. The imperfections and ripples have gotten worse and I am in need of a layer of fat all the way around my implants. My very hard earned 10 pounds didn't reveal as much fat as hoped for..apparently I am more loose mom skin than fat so this is going to be a tricky one. With liposuction already being a not so pleasant procedure, my little bit of fat is going to make for a tricky harvest. She plans to take every last bit that she can And overfill my chest hoping it will be enough. Not too optimistic She said that it is possible that in time I could need second lipofill. Of course I asked if it was possible to store the harvested fat (wishful thinking), sadly that isn't a technology that has been mastered yet. I do know that this is it. If this surgery doesn't give desired results I'm done. I can't keep doing this to myself. I am tiring out and am ready to just live my life. It took all I had to get here and ready for this procedure. I don't have it in me to put my body through this again. My love for food has diminished and I can't wait to just have a salad and go for a run!!!

Surgery will be next Wednesday at 8am. Dr Hagarty will preform liposuction on my abdomen and use the gathered fat to fill or "graft" my chest. She plans to be as aggressive with the fill as my body fat will allow. It is best to overfill as a fraction of the fat will be absorbed over time. If all goes well and the pain is managable I should be released later that day. I was warned that my chest will be a bit tight and tender feeling but I will experience the most discomfort in my harvest sites. I will have to bind my abdomen for a good four weeks to reduce the risk of edema. While I should notice a difference immediately, we won't know our final results for about three months. It is then that we will rediscuss the idea of nipples. Currently I don't have enough skin to do the reconstruction and with it's current condition, I May not even be a candidate for tattooed ones. We are hopeful that this procedure will give my chest the buffer that it needs. I am coming up on the 2 year mark since I found that first lump. I remember it like it was yesterday. "Casper" changed my life. It has been a journey and one hell of a test, but I am making it!!! I had no idea it would be such a process or this is where I would end up, but I am so greatful to have had such an overwhelming amount of love and support through every step of the way. We are slowly getting there. <3