Gaining weight

It's crazy how we transition from one point in our lives to the next. When you become so used to the unknown and chaos that life returning back to it's old routine seems both exciting and frightening. It will be strange to have everything behind us. I crave that moment so badly. I've always lived in the moment and seen the silver linnings, or at least tried my hardest to do so, but here lately there's always been something we are trying to get through. Perhaps that is just life. If it isn't one thing, it's the next. Life is made up of a series of unfortunate events. Events that lead us up until the very end of our existence. It is up to us how we let said events effect our future. I choose to thrive in the face of suffering. I have so many reasons to smile and be thankful.

My heart's longing for the contentment and ease of "normal" life almost caused me to tap out early. I am so thankful to have taken the time to think and to have my husband by my side through every torn thought. Wrapping my mind around the idea of weight gain in order to go through with the fat harvest and lipofill wasn't an easy thing to do. But I knew not going through with this procedure because of a personal fear would haunt me forever.

I met with my plastic surgeon two weeks ago and excitedly told her my decision. She said she knew this was the road I would eventually take. I was just stoborn and took a bit to realize it myself. Thing one and thing two are healing wonderfully and have gained some elasticity making me a great canidate for the lipofill. After the procedure is complete my chest should closely resemble that of a normal breast with minimal imperfections. While they will never be real or mine, it is important to be happy with the end result. I was given a goal of gaining 10 pounds. I thought it would be easy, but it is proving to be harder than anticipated. I've spent my life being health conscious and restrictive where certain foods are concerned. I used to be so excited for cheat day to roll around it was pathetic!!! Now every day is cheat day, I force myself to eat when I'm not hungry and I'm missing my healthy food choices. This pressured gain has caused me to go against everything I'm used to while changing my way of thinking. I had been under the impression that I would call My Dr once I achieved our goal. I was panic stricken when my nurse called me with a surgery date! On February 24th I will be having liposuction done on my abdomen, this fat will then be processed and injected into my chest lipofilling away the imperfections by creating a layer of fat separating my skin from my implant. This barrier will give a more natural contour, appearance, and feel.

Having a date has left me anxious and with a deadline. So far I have gained 4.6lbs. I am already feeling and seeing the changes, and I am trying to be ok with them. I am continually looking towards the future reminding myself that this is just another chapter in my story.